About me.

What I remember most vividly from my previous job are the little things that brought me joy.

I recall stepping into that lab for the first time, not even knowing how to operate the blending machine. My mind was filled with images of beakers piled high on the desk, waiting for testing, until I had to start stacking some on the floor. We were full of ambition back then, submitting report after report, working overtime again and again.

I remember the quiet beeping of the instruments, the hum of the fan when my ex-colleagues opened and closed the door of the drying chamber. I remember the crackling sound of papers sliding as the machine moved. I remember the noise when someone broke a glass, and we cleaned it up together afterward. I remember how we kicked our slippers around the lab like a soccer ball. I remember we laughed.

Those are the only things worth remembering.

And then the pandemic came.

During those two endless years, I lost my direction. Unable to go out, unable to interact with people, the novelty lasted only a few days before endless anxiety and irritation set in. The virus had us all locked away, unable to see our own future. I finished every book on my shelf, knowing their plots by heart; I began to frequent the internet, scrolling through news filled with fear and despair. Everyone was talking about their struggles and pain, negative emotions piling up like mountains. I stopped scrolling and decided to explore instead. That's when I stumbled upon something unexpected—fragrances, utterly irrelevant to my job at the time.

This discovery ignited something within me. Fragrances were not just about materials and scents; they could connect and create impacts on human emotions. You could feel your mood lift when you walked into a scented space, or relax when you imagined that lavender garden, the subtle spiciness with herbal balsamic undertones in the wind. The idea began to take root, it calmed me down, the next thing I did was immersed myself in home-based research, experimenting and blending during those isolated times.

I crafted my first fragrance oil blend and a simple handmade plaster diffuser, using materials I ordered online. This was the beginning of something new, something that allowed me to connect with my inner voice. I hoped to express the despair and anxieties I never dared to speak of, along with a faint hope for things will getting better, to my family and friends. I wished to be brave and open like the boldness of yellow, like a sunflower always facing its only destined light. If you've ever wondered why our official email is he.workshop25@gmail.com, it’s a nod to the age this journey began—25, when curiosity led me to fragrances and the birth of Helianthus Workshop.

But things took a turn for the worse after we finally returned to work.

I was injured in a gas explosion due to mechanical issues, permanently losing 40% of the hearing in my right ear, unable to hear certain frequencies. Worse still, I might lose it entirely in the future. To this day, I suffer from vertigo and hearing imbalance, unsure if it will worsen. What I fear most is not being able to clearly hear people's voices.

I eventually quit my job by 2022, focusing on creating and sorting through my emotions. I remember the ticking of the clock on my desk, painfully loud, like a ticking time bomb.

When it's dark and uncertain, people often look back to see how they got through it before, trying to recreate the joy of the past. I recall my first tentative experiments, mixing essential oils together, creating complex and strange scents that mirrored my indescribable feelings at the time. I realized that each scent was a unique language. I heard them again, I heard myself and my heart screamed out my teenage pen name. There were voices and long-forgotten ideas, and then I heard something new—write them down.

About Z.Yang.

My pen name, Zhao Yang (朝陽), means "morning sunlight," symbolizing rebirth and hope. I selected this name for my brand to intertwine the language and fragrance. Each scent, in my belief, has the power to convey emotions and secrets that often elude verbal expression. It can encapsulate a personality, a memory, a person, or even an entire story.

Every fragrance under the Z.Yang brand is imbued with its unique inspiration and story; sometimes, it is merely a poem—offered to those who yearn for understanding and recognition. You might interpret it as my earnest desire to communicate sincerely, to engage in conversations with strangers about the scars we dare not reveal to others.

Through my brand, I aspire to relearn the art of genuine expression, to convey love with precision and unwavering conviction.